Myths about prostitution
Before I started to do this job I heard many stories about prostitution. That you would have to have sex many times a day, you would have to take in all the people and that the people would treat you bad. Basically I thought the same way many people think about prostitution, and this is also enforced by a lot of stories in the media. But when I started to work here, I was surprised at how different the job was from what I expected, and that's it not all about sex.

First of all, many of the clients that come to me often don't end up having sex with me at all. Many guys come inside and have what we could describe as 'performance issues', often caused by drinking too much, smoking too much weed or just because they're very nervous. In fact, if I think about it, about 40% of my customers have trouble to 'keep it up'. But besides the guys that have performance issues, you also have guys that don't even want to have sex. A lot of guys that come to a prostitute just because they want to talk, about problems they have at home, issues with their wives or girlfriends, some people are just curious to come inside and ask you about the work. In fact, a large part of my time revolves more around playing a therapist than a prostitute.

Than you have people that do have requests, like giving them a normal massage (without the happy ending), or just give them a simple handjob, or a simple blowjob. Than you have the people with weird requests, like people wanting to be walked around like a dog (no sex), people who want to be beaten or sometimes even have their balls squeezed by my high heels until the point they're almost bleeding. Most of these guys come to me because they have requests that their wives or girlfriend don't to perform on them, and they have no where else to go with these requests.

And than you have the guys that actually come in to have sex and actually also end up having sex, which is around 30% of the guys. But a lot of guys that come in with the intention to have sex, often don't even end up having sex for various reasons. And there also a lot of guys that come in saying they want to have sex, but do it more to prove to their friends how macho they are, and once they're inside often are too scarred to even take their clothes off. And last but not least you also have guys that come in for another reason, which is because they're doubting their own sexuality, and they want to find out if they're gay or not. This usually ends up with me doing nothing at all but taking a dildo in my hand and putting it where they like it.

The idea most people have of a customer of a prostitute, is the old, fat, dirty man that can't find a woman to have sex with, because he's too disgusting. But actually most of my clients are just very regular people. Many guys that come to me are good looking guys, some are not so good looking guys, guys who are married, family guys, guys who have a girlfriend home and also of course single guys.
The reason many men who are married or have a girlfriend come to a prostitute, is not because they like to cheat on their wives or girlfriends, or because they're not loyal people, but simply because many women out there don't pay enough attention to their partner. Many women neglect their husbands or boyfriends, causing them to feel lonely and like they're not getting any attention at home.
Maybe some people won't believe me on this, but many times I ask guys why they come to me if they have a wife sitting at home, because it's not a very nice thing to do. And the answer is always the same: 'everything was nice until we got married, and than we got children and all the attention goes to them, and our sex live goes down the drain.' Many guys tell me they have sex every two or three months, sometimes even 6 months or longer, and sometimes even not at all! Since they still have the need, but don't want to cheat on their wife or girlfriend, starting an affair with some other girl, these men rather choose to pay a prostitute to have sex with no emotional attachments. So, in fact, you could say these men want to stay true to their girlfriends or wives, but because they get neglected and don't want to cheat on them, a prostitute is a good solution.

Some people, like Renate van der Zee, have commented on the fact that men have a need for sex. She said that sex is not a right, and that therefore prostitution cannot be used as an excuse for this. Now, besides the fact that I don't see any harm if two people agree to have sex in exchange for money, the fact that sex is not a right doesn't mean it can not be offered as a service. Just like how having a cell phone it not a right, doesn't mean we should ban the sales of cell phones, or that we should criminalize the people who buy them. In fact, a lot of phones get made by companies who have young childeren and people working in their factories working under terrible conditions. Why do I never hear people like Renate van der Zee talk about these people?
Studies have shown that men who don't have sex over a long period of time, can get serious psychological problems that can affect their stress level, work or even their behavior. I think we all know some good examples of that, when you look for instance at the Catholic Church and their child abuse, or countries like India where prostitution is highly illegal and yet we have hundreds, even thousands of gruesome rapes.
It even makes me wonder some times, there are so many organisations trying to 'save prostitutes' from their position, while in India women get raped and killed on a daily base. How much more prove do you need to legalize it?

There's also the idea out there that prostitutes get treated very bad by their customers. But like everywhere else in the world, also in prostitution you have nice customers and customers which are not nice. A lot of customers are very shy, a lot of nice people out there, with who you can laugh very much and are very funny. But of course there are also some customers who are not so nice to prostitutes. Most of them are drunk, and have problems getting 'it' hard, and they blame in their drunken mind us for this. And than you have the people that don't have any respect for prostitutes, or even women, like a lot of Moroccan guys. I'm not saying that all Moroccan guys are bad, but in my experience I've never come across a nice Moroccan guy that is respectful to us at work. They do the most foul things, like spitting on our windows, or if they can even in our faces, call us the worst things and if you let them in there's a good chance they'll try to steal from you, or sometimes even try to kill you. This is the reason many prostitutes don't let in Moroccan guys, not because we're racists or whatever, but simply because we all have way too many bad experiences with them.

Another thing that many people don't know, is that you don't have to let every guy in. People always assume that because you're a prostitute you have to take in every guy that comes to your door. But fortunately human rights protect women just as well in their job as a prostitutes as it does in their private life, and therefore we can refuse anyone we want to. We're not obligated to take in anyone if we don't want to. If I don't feel good about someone, for whatever reason that may be, I can simply refuse him. The police is also there to protect us from people that make trouble about this.
In the media you'll often read that it are the girls mostly from Eastern Europe that are forced prostitutes. Now, since most of the prostitutes in the Red Light District in Amsterdam come from Romania, and in second place Bulgaria with Hungarian girls a little bit behind in the third place, it's obvious to see who they're talking about. Yet, interestingly I know most of the Eastern European women, and it are mostly them who refuse customers, which doesn't really fit in with the story of the forced prostitute who is forced to have sex with many customers for her pimp. Why would a girl that would be forced to make a lot of money for her pimp refuse customers? Especially if you read in these stories how they get beat up if they don't make enough money.

Another thing that a lot of people don't know is that the minimum price is 50 Euro to come in, but this price isn't for everything included. The prostitute herself can determine what she does for this price, and can ask for more if the client has more requests. A lot of people sometimes say to me that 50 Euro is a lot of money for a used vagina, but I always wonder why these people come here in the first place if they don't want to pay money for a used vagina. 
Often people think that a prostitute is a very dirty, disgusting woman, since they assume we have sex with just anyone that comes at our door. But that's simply not true. As you've just read, many customers don't even want sex, and even if they do it often doesn't even happen because of performance issues on their behalf. When we do have sex, I always use a condom, as do most of the girls. Also after every customer I was myself a lot, and end up washing myself like 10 sometimes even 20 times a day.
Now if we compare this to a 'normal girl' you might meet in a club, you have to ask yourself how often she has protected sex with other guys? And how often does she wash herself a day? I've had many couples before at my work, just normal couples. And when the girl undresses herself, in 99% of the cases the girls have such bad hygiene that they smell so bad, that I even threw up one time. Since that time I've never taken in couples anymore. Girls who don't shave themselves, and don't even trim their pubic hair, which is really really disgusting in my opinion for oral sex, since everything get's stuck in those hairs. In fact, the reason all the prostitutes I know shave themselves, is because it's easier to keep it clean, and therefore more hygienic. When I ask why these girls don't shave themselves, the answer is always because it takes a lot of time, and when they don't have a boyfriend why should they do it? In my opinion you shave yourself for your personal hygiene and because you respect your own body, but apparently that's not important to these girls unless they have a boy they want to impress.
It's especially interesting because a lot of them are young girls that have really bad hygiene, while for example when I had an older woman of 40 years old and her hygiene was very good. I don't know what's up with these young girls these days, but many of them don't take care of their own personal hygiene, and their own body. Many people claim prostitutes don't have respect for themselves, or their own body. Yet, if I look at my experiences, and many other girls I've talked to have the exact same experiences about this, we take better care of our personal hygiene than those 'normal girls'. So than I wonder who has more respect for her own body and herself? A prostitute who takes her personal hygiene very serious, or a normal girl who neglects her personal hygiene so much that it even makes me throw up?

Dutch version
6 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    Only ca. 30% end up having sex!

    It should be interesting to compare different ´raambuurtjes´ (red light districts). I never visit after 14.00 h, the evening could be different... Sometimes sex is better than other times (being 60).


    But no sex? I pay for sex, the rest is extra (cadeautjes, conversation, etc.)

    Rootman


  2. Felicia Anna Says:

    @Rootman
    Yes, there's a big difference between the Red Light District in Amsterdam and other Red Light Districts like Alkmaar and Utrecht, Den Haag etc. In Amsterdam there are a lot of tourists who come here to party, get drunk, smoke weed, and after that they end up in the Red Light.
    In other places you get more local people, you have more regular customers. And also in the day is very different from the night, much more regular customers, and in the night you have more young party people.

    You may pay for sex, but that certainly doesn't go for everyone.


  3. Anonymous Says:

    One other issue: In your recent tweets with Fleurtje (I can see only half of it), you seem to disagree on something. -Fleurtje should make a 2nd account for public discussions, otherwise many tweets from and to her are only partially comprehensible!!!-

    I think you girls should meet soon, and have a serious talk! Perhaps agree to disagree...

    Why? There are so few voices against the prohibitionists, radfems and christian zionists, who want to chase you into illegality, take away your boyfriend or kids, and basically erase you from society!

    Rootman


  4. Felicia Anna Says:

    @Rootman
    Just to clarify, the discussion was about the show Matroesjka's I saw a while ago. My boyfriend posted on Twitter that in my opinion the show was not very believable for various reasons, for instance that the passports got taken away, but many other things as well.
    Another woman started to respond to my boyfriend with the question if he didn't believe in human trafficking, and than pointed out to this blog. Her comment back on that to my boyfriend was that she didn't need to read anything, because she knew a rechercheur in Belgium.
    In my opinion, if you have something to say about prostitution, you should also listen to what other people have to say, but apparently this woman had already made up her mind about it. So I confronted her with this, to which her reply was that she was discussing this with Fleurtje and my boyfriend.
    To me it's kinda weird that other people talk about me, and my job, but apparently I'm not invited in the conversation about myself. Than Fleurtje began to suggest that it was my boyfriends aggressive tone that was the problem, while I can honestly say that he wasn't aggressive in any way. Fleurtje kept claiming this woman didn't know anything about prostitution, and she wasn't interested in it. But I kept wondering why someone wouldn't be interested in prostitution, yet still ask these questions and make assumptions, and even talk to people from the recherche when you're not interested in it?
    Anyway, a whole discussion about a woman with claims about prostitution, but refused to look at the story of a prostitute (me) herself, and getting defended by Fleurtje who kept claiming we where the ones to blame for the discussion going wrong.

    I didn't start the discussion, I didn't want a discussion, all I wanted was that someone listened to me, who apparently didn't appreciate that. I did however end the discussion, simply because I'm not interested in endless discussions that lead nowhere.

    I agree with you that's it's better to fight the people that are against us, than the people that agree with prostitutes, and that's also the reason I ended that discussion. I'd rather have a meaningful discussion with someone about prostitution.


  5. Marcus Says:

    The blog is great (really great!) but it will probably be read most by people who agree with you. The ones who need to be reached have their heads too far up their backsides to notice. Their first thought is unlikely to be, “Maybe which should reconsider,” but more, “Let’s run this girl out of town.” The real audience should be (I respectfully suggest) the people/groups who can help you to promote your message and the ‘undecided’ who are liberal and curious – and who would be persuaded by your arguments and information, and hopefully put pressure on politicians, etc. (but who probably haven't been doing a casual search for red light prostitute blog which enables them to stumble across your site). Putting the record straight (which is what you are doing) is VITALLY important. Finding a way to force feed it to a very wide audience is also vitally important. I have a few thoughts about that. If you are interested, give me a call. Meanwhile, can't wait to read more (I mean, for you to write more). Regards. Marcus.


  6. Anonymous Says:

    In Amsterdam I did, for more than two years, visit very regularly a very nice woman who still does work as a prostitute in the Wallen.
    She told me exactly the same. She became a friend, but unfortunately do not see here anymore due to not here to mention, not important, reasons.
    Reading your post.. all along I do realize she just told me the truth !, which I honestly sometimes doubted.
    She told me the same about the type of guys coming in, what they tell etc.. what they do... etc.. how hard it in my opinion sometimes is phycologically.
    It is nice/good from someone else, like you, to read the same 'storys' she told. As it is still a taboo I and many others can not freely speak about your emotions
    about his subject without laughter and embarresment etc...
    Thank you :-)

    J.


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    Romanian prostitute working in the Red Light District in Amsterdam (De Wallen), speaking out for the truth behind prostitution. Blogging about prostitution, human trafficking, forced prostitution, politics and all the myths surrounding it. Member of PROUD, the Dutch union of sex workers.